One week post hubby getting a new job, we are back to where we started from. It’s not his fault mind you. This position wanted him to commit pretty much 12 hour days, 5 days a week, 2 weekends a month, and be on call at all other times. I’m sorry, no job is worth that. I went the whole week making it work, pointing out the good things, telling him we just needed to adjust. But then they said he needed to commit weekends too and be on call. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t manage. I think I surprised everyone, especially me, at how I was able to handle being a single mom. Granted, I don’t know how women do it all the time – they deserve medals! But I got a taste, and surprised even myself. But in that week, A. missed sooooo much. M.’s words are coming fast and furious. Yesterday, she said the dogs name…so cute to hear her say Phoebe! And it was hard to be at the Touch-a-Truck event, and not let the kids run, because I can’t chase 2 kids in opposite directions, and to know their Dad would have had so much fun with them.
Still, there was no way A. would be able to go back to school like he planned. There is no way he could even make it home before the kids went to bed at night. So it is for the best. Now I am just praying something else comes along. Last night when we decided, I was so happy to have my husband back. Not just to help, but I have missed him. It’s not the same when he isn’t around. So now he is back to looking for the next opportunity. And I pray to God it comes soon, because no my money anxiety has returned. The pit is back in my stomach, as I wonder how we will cover our bills. I know we will be fine, but now that uncertainty is back to nagging me. I just hope he finds something soon. He really is happier when he is working…but like a human, not a glorified slave.
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