Hope...

So after being frustrated, having a miserable week at work, and two tantrum throwing almost two-year old toddlers at home, it's nice to have something to be hopeful about. (Side note, I love my babies and count my blessings for them every day, but just because I was infertile, it's hard to deal with the screaming for 3 hours straight and can be a bit depressing).  Today I asked my parents if they would be willing to help us with a down payment on a new (to us) house.  To be fair in the interest of disclosure, we already own a three story townhome, which we bought at the tail end of the housing boom and still owe more than its worth.  We made our own down payment then... and we could wait a few years to buy a house and sell it and buy a new house, but the deals that are out there now are hard to pass up.  We are looking at basically buying the home we will live in for the rest of our lives...and since our parents are not getting any younger, the thought of needing to take care of them does play in my head, and their just is no room to do so in our current home. Plus the twins love visitng other peoples home where they have room to run - no real running room when each floor is about 6-700 square feet and a postage stamp yard.

When we bought our home, the presumption and intent was to stay there for 5-7 years and move into our "family" house - ie where we would raise our kids.  The current market makes selling our current home a far cry from reality....however, if we rent it, we can probably get a bit more than our mortgage, HOA and escrow cost.  So it wouldn't really be a loss.  And we live right near a military base where the realignment is set to ramp up numbers even more...so its not like we don't have a rental market. 

Anyway, I emailed my parents this morning, because if they are willing to help us, depending on how much they are willing could mean the diference between move in ready with all the bells and whistles to needing a lot of work!!  My mother already replied that her and my dad would discuss, but wanted some numbers to know what we were talking...so it appears they are at least willing to consider helping us.  So right now, I am going to hopeful that this might work out, and we might be able to host a Christmas or Thanksgiving without putting people in the backyard to eat!!

Frustrated

I feel like I am a hamster stuck in a wheel, running at top speed and just getting no where.  We decided we would start looking at houses, the kids need room to run and the townhouse ain't cutting it.  We found one we loved, but it was under contract in 2 days. Then we found one we really liked...but found out that because it wouldn't be our first home purchase, the money we were banking on from our tanking IRA can't be used. Adam really wants me to ask my parents, but they have done soooooo much for us, I am completely uncomfortable with this. 

When he got his new job, it was after 4 months of unemployment, which ate most of our savings, plus the salary was less than he was making.  Plus he is back in school - community college, but tuition and books cost just the same.  I get my raise in April, but it doesn't seem like it will be enough.  So now he is ready to call it all off and just wait until the kids are like in 6th grade.  Which makes me sad, because they are so happy when they have room to run around and just be kids. Now he is talking about trading back his new car to save money - which I totally disagree with. You made the purchase, I am not throwing money away because you changed your mind - in the long run it would cost less to keep the car til it dies!

It just sucks that somehow we do everything right, we follow the rules, we do the right things and somehow we are still in the hole,  - we could start to carry a balance on our credit cards to save money, but that's just giving more money away.  I don't know what to do.  Meanwhile, I watch friends and family - with the Iphones and fancy vacations who also collect food stamps, and have no visible means of support. Somehow they are able to do all the things I want to do for my family...all while I do all the right things, and am still wearing underwear from when I got married 6 years ago... it is just so frustrating!!

Additional info after this most recent post....a good friend of the family died today. It seems we will be headed to NY in the next few days for his burial.  He had stage 4 prostate cancer, and made it for 2 whole years...this morning they gave him days to live so we started trying to figure out our best plan for the inevitable...then we got the call that he had passed. So sad for his wife and daughter...at the same time glad he is now enjoying his sweet heavenly peace...I hope my Grandparents welcomed him with open arms.  What a stinky day.