I need a break. I need to relax. It has been more than a week of craziness. It started last weekend, my in-laws were here, and I felt like poo. But I trucked on, watched the twinkies so hubby could bond with his parents. And on Monday, I went to the walk-in clinic at my doctor's office. Strep test - negative, culture - negative. Peritonsillar cellulitis, DING DING DING!! Basically, I had an infection in my throat and my glands, that was just shy of an abcess. Armed with my super antibiotics, I went home, where I did not move. My fever topped off at 102, but finally broke. On Wednesday, I had a work meeting that I could not miss...of course my fever spiked back to 100. So after sweating through the meeting, back tot he doctor I went. They didn't think it was any worse, but it certainly wasn't any better. Because it didn't get worse, I got to skip the steroids. I did get the maximum allowable dose of augmentin though. Sweet. Oh and PS - found out that on Monday, I was about a day, day and a half from a hospital admission. Turns out the peritonsillar abcess requires slicing the infection open to drain, and a course of IV antibiotics. Lesson learned - go to your doctor folks.
So on Thursday, finally starting to feel better. Decide let me do some things around the house, then I can go back to work tomorrow and feel like I still got something accomplished. Ring Ring. Telephone - day care calling. Your daughter has 101, come get her and no school tomorrow. Thinking she might have what I do, I take her to the pediatrician. Not what I have. Small ear infection. Leave with an Rx for amoxicillin. PS - we were at the pediatrician's office the previous Tuesday for B.'s ear infection. Swell.
DH is at school tonight, getting the kids fed and up to bed at 7pm. Approximately 635 pm, B. decides I want to put my leg on the other side of the love seat and throw all my weight behind it. Result, flying leap off the love seat, headfirst, into the base of the floor lamp. Screaming 19 month old with bleedig ghead wound. Apply ice (i.e. frozen vegetables), start thinking logistics for two toddlers and one mom at the ER. Shit diaper bag is still in DH's car...along with stroller. At class. M. running at my feet, trips and falls. Then starts eating the frozen veggies now falling out of the bag applied to her brother's head. B. laughs hysterically. Relief as I realize no ER visit necessary.
Friday, drag the girl to work so people can coo over her, and I can have an adult conversation. Survive the weekend and the temper tantrums. Sunday afternoon, B. has green goo coming from his eyes and nose. Either sinus infection or pink eye. Sure to be sent home from school now. To be sure, before bed, treat the boy's eyes with the erithromyicin ointment they have from last bout of pink eye. Go to bed thinking smooth sailing.
Wake up Monday morning. The boy's eyes ares swollen like grapefruits, his cheeks puffed. Looks like he lost a fight with Tyson. I know the look anywhere. Allergic reaction. Figure it must be erithromyicin. Take for sick visit at pediatrician (that's three visits in three weeks for those of you scoring at home...if not, try flowers - pa dump bump.). Diagnosis, sinus infection - treat with augmentin and probiotics (something I know well!). Also, referral for allergist.
So B. is signed up for his first allergy consult on Wednesday. His sister I have put off... which is worse, asthma or allergy? Never a dull moment.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The a to Z's of Infertility
A – Age at Which you Started Trying To Conceive: 27
B – Baby Dancing or Sex: baby dancing
C – Children Wanted: 2
D – Dogs/Cats/Fill In Babies: one furbaby, a dwarf beagle named Phoebe
E – Essential Oils/Vitamins: Prenatal vitamins, plus extra vitamin d
F – Fertility Meds I’ve Taken: Baby aspirin, prenatal vitamin, Letrozole, Clomid, Lupron, Prometrium, low dose HCG, trigger shot, Estradiol,, Ovidrel, Follistem, Gonel-F
G – Gain, What I have Gained from Infertility: my "twin"kies and an understanding of how little people understand
H – HSG test: it was the most evil test - it took over an hour just to get the catheter in, turns out i have a titled cervix... the nurse felt so bad she bought me lunch while I waited for the copies of my scans
I – Infertile Pet Peeve: how my SIL was so uncaring and could not understand that we could not be at her first chemo treatment because we had an IUI scheduled, or we couldn't visit all the time because i was in the doctors office every other day...so she could have the niece and nephew she loves to "watch" grow up even though she never actually sees them because it might interrupt her life
J – Job Title: Senior Specialist
K – Kids Names you are Afraid will be Taken: it already was - DH's cousin told us her daugther would be isabella (years ago) so that was out, then Kailey became popular, though spelled Kaylee, and of course Andrew and all our others
L – Lengh of Time Trying to Conceive: 3.5 years
M – Miscarriages: 1
N – Number of Times you have Swiched Reproductive Endocrinologists: none, I picked the best from the get go!
O – Ovarian Quality: decent
P – Pee-On-A-Stick or Wait for Aunt Flo: was a pee-aholic before the RE...once we started treatments, I refused util we had graduated to our OB, then it was only to actually know what a positive pee test looks like
Q – Quote from an Obnoxious Fertile: "Oh you are getting fertiity treatments, thats not so bad, at least you don;t have cancer" - that was from lovely SIL...who granted had cancer, but this was after our pyscholoigist told us treatment is more isolating than cancer treatments because at least people rally around and support cancer patients
S – Sperm: below average
T – Time you Tried Naturally: not trying but not preventing - 2 years, trying - another 2 years
U – Uterus Quality: slightly tilted but otherwise good
V – Vagina: No complaints there
W – What Baby Stuff do you Already Have: now all of it, selling it at a yard sale this weekend
X – Xtra, Xtra, Hear all about it! How many people know about your TTC Journey: during, it was everyone - as it got harder to answer the constant questions - just my sister and a few close friends
Y – Yearly Exam: usually every april
Z – Zits: after hormones, few and far between thank goodness!
B – Baby Dancing or Sex: baby dancing
C – Children Wanted: 2
D – Dogs/Cats/Fill In Babies: one furbaby, a dwarf beagle named Phoebe
E – Essential Oils/Vitamins: Prenatal vitamins, plus extra vitamin d
F – Fertility Meds I’ve Taken: Baby aspirin, prenatal vitamin, Letrozole, Clomid, Lupron, Prometrium, low dose HCG, trigger shot, Estradiol,, Ovidrel, Follistem, Gonel-F
G – Gain, What I have Gained from Infertility: my "twin"kies and an understanding of how little people understand
H – HSG test: it was the most evil test - it took over an hour just to get the catheter in, turns out i have a titled cervix... the nurse felt so bad she bought me lunch while I waited for the copies of my scans
I – Infertile Pet Peeve: how my SIL was so uncaring and could not understand that we could not be at her first chemo treatment because we had an IUI scheduled, or we couldn't visit all the time because i was in the doctors office every other day...so she could have the niece and nephew she loves to "watch" grow up even though she never actually sees them because it might interrupt her life
J – Job Title: Senior Specialist
K – Kids Names you are Afraid will be Taken: it already was - DH's cousin told us her daugther would be isabella (years ago) so that was out, then Kailey became popular, though spelled Kaylee, and of course Andrew and all our others
L – Lengh of Time Trying to Conceive: 3.5 years
M – Miscarriages: 1
N – Number of Times you have Swiched Reproductive Endocrinologists: none, I picked the best from the get go!
O – Ovarian Quality: decent
P – Pee-On-A-Stick or Wait for Aunt Flo: was a pee-aholic before the RE...once we started treatments, I refused util we had graduated to our OB, then it was only to actually know what a positive pee test looks like
Q – Quote from an Obnoxious Fertile: "Oh you are getting fertiity treatments, thats not so bad, at least you don;t have cancer" - that was from lovely SIL...who granted had cancer, but this was after our pyscholoigist told us treatment is more isolating than cancer treatments because at least people rally around and support cancer patients
S – Sperm: below average
T – Time you Tried Naturally: not trying but not preventing - 2 years, trying - another 2 years
U – Uterus Quality: slightly tilted but otherwise good
V – Vagina: No complaints there
W – What Baby Stuff do you Already Have: now all of it, selling it at a yard sale this weekend
X – Xtra, Xtra, Hear all about it! How many people know about your TTC Journey: during, it was everyone - as it got harder to answer the constant questions - just my sister and a few close friends
Y – Yearly Exam: usually every april
Z – Zits: after hormones, few and far between thank goodness!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
I want today to be a good day...
1 update - the little girl I spoke of has been released from the hospital...doctors are encouraged and she is back home with her family, where she belongs. Pray she stays there!
In other areas...
It seems like a million years ago that we were in the throes of infertility...and with our ultimate success, I find myself drawn back to the blogs and forums I sought refuge in before... on the one hand, I try to be a quiet outside observer. I never want anyone to think I am flaunting my babies, or say that I conquered infertility. I want to be supportive of these women, because I know, all too well, what it is that they are going through. I know the pain, the isolation, the loneliness. I understand what it is like when there are 32 people around you who are pregnant, while you just get another BFN. I know it because I have been there.
I swigged Robbitussin to benefit from the guanui....that stuff that I can't pronounce because it helps your cervical mucus. I know what it's like to do gymnastics to keep the sperm "in", I know the joys of checking your cervical mucus in great detail for any slight change, or checking the toilet paper for any tinge of pink that might be implantation bleeding. Regular people don't understand the nuances of this lifestyle, of the little things we do in staying in touch with our bodies. Women dealing with infertility are the most in tune with their bodies as any human can be. We are aware of the slightest change...
Now that I have my 2 miracles, it's hard to detach myself from that. Don't get me wrong, heck I barely have time to use the bathroom anymore with 18 month old twins...but I almost feel like I lost my membership to a special community of incredible women. And I pray for them, I hope for them...
At the same time, mybe it's because I need some sort of distraction. A. still hasn't found a job. He has had some great interviews this week, so I know I need to be patient. But I am not. I want today to be THE day. I want him to get a job today. Because I need to relax. I need to not feel the anxiety that I mask each and everyday. I need to know I can buy that top, or that silly item...better yet, that I can get a haircut. I need to know that it is going to be ok, because I am tired of being scared that it is not. I need to know we are on the other side of this...I mean I had patience to get my babies, how can I be this anxious after a few months of him out of work.
I guess part of it is the economy. I don't want him to be the average one who is out 9 months. I don't want him out the whole time he is going for his accounting program. I don't want to feel this unsetled anymore...I need to not be the strong and secure one and just be able to relax at night. I want to be able to sleep without needing advil pm (used to be only needed 1, now I need 2) just to sleep through the night. I just want to be me again...
In other areas...
It seems like a million years ago that we were in the throes of infertility...and with our ultimate success, I find myself drawn back to the blogs and forums I sought refuge in before... on the one hand, I try to be a quiet outside observer. I never want anyone to think I am flaunting my babies, or say that I conquered infertility. I want to be supportive of these women, because I know, all too well, what it is that they are going through. I know the pain, the isolation, the loneliness. I understand what it is like when there are 32 people around you who are pregnant, while you just get another BFN. I know it because I have been there.
I swigged Robbitussin to benefit from the guanui....that stuff that I can't pronounce because it helps your cervical mucus. I know what it's like to do gymnastics to keep the sperm "in", I know the joys of checking your cervical mucus in great detail for any slight change, or checking the toilet paper for any tinge of pink that might be implantation bleeding. Regular people don't understand the nuances of this lifestyle, of the little things we do in staying in touch with our bodies. Women dealing with infertility are the most in tune with their bodies as any human can be. We are aware of the slightest change...
Now that I have my 2 miracles, it's hard to detach myself from that. Don't get me wrong, heck I barely have time to use the bathroom anymore with 18 month old twins...but I almost feel like I lost my membership to a special community of incredible women. And I pray for them, I hope for them...
At the same time, mybe it's because I need some sort of distraction. A. still hasn't found a job. He has had some great interviews this week, so I know I need to be patient. But I am not. I want today to be THE day. I want him to get a job today. Because I need to relax. I need to not feel the anxiety that I mask each and everyday. I need to know I can buy that top, or that silly item...better yet, that I can get a haircut. I need to know that it is going to be ok, because I am tired of being scared that it is not. I need to know we are on the other side of this...I mean I had patience to get my babies, how can I be this anxious after a few months of him out of work.
I guess part of it is the economy. I don't want him to be the average one who is out 9 months. I don't want him out the whole time he is going for his accounting program. I don't want to feel this unsetled anymore...I need to not be the strong and secure one and just be able to relax at night. I want to be able to sleep without needing advil pm (used to be only needed 1, now I need 2) just to sleep through the night. I just want to be me again...
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